A lot has been going on lately. A lot. During the last couple of weeks we have had very so-sad news (more on that later), both sides of the family staying with us, and been terribly, awfully sick, and this really just for starters. We have been put through the ringer, to be sure. Somewhere in all of this I began wrestling with some old friends of mine: restlessness and doubt. (Ah, they are but faithful friends.) I believe once I put my roots down here and realized I was truly "home" the questions began plaguing me: is this really where I belong? Is it "God's will" that we are here? Shouldn't I be on the mission field somewhere or on the streets ministering to the sick and poor? After I cleared away the cobwebs, I realized those weren't really the questions. The questions are more like: Do I trust God? And can He really use me right here, right now? And after thinking through these questions with Justin, I realized we are on a mission field. I have the Light in the darkness and it is pretty dang dark where I am living. So we have just begun thinking through what is means to live a missional life here in the suburbs of America. And we have some fellow sojourners, which feels good. And our church is seeking out ways to do this, to live this, and how to offer Christ to those who seem to have just about everything. And that feels good too.
We have made some simple changes, opened our eyes and hearts, and it's been amazing already how God has met us. We're continuing to talk through what this looks like, what it means to live, really live, in community with others, to ask questions, to really love on people not with an agenda, but with acceptance and grace. To listen, to really listen to what others are saying. To pray with devotion, intention, and anticipation. To give, give, give, freely and passionately. And instead of feeling anxiety and doubt, I'm filled with excitement and hope. I look out my window and see great possibility. And I may be in the suburbs, but God is here too.
Amy, I love how the Lord changed your heart despite what was going on in your life. I love that you asked questions, but didn't answer them yourself... you waited for His answer. I'm sure it didn't come right away, but you continued to ask and wait. (Sometimes I think that the sick and poor in "spirit" - ARE our neighbors, right there in the suburbs!)I love that where ever we are the Lord can use us! ms
ReplyDeleteHe's in the suburbs now?!?...that guy has no standards. :) Of course he is, friend, and I love how he has equipped you and Justin perfectly to be real Light and Life in an area that is able to fake it relatively well. It is a more difficult mission in some ways cause the need is so carefully masked. I'm glad you are there, eyes open, hearts bared. There is such beauty in that lovely heart of yours.
ReplyDeleteI cannot tell you how encouraging this is to me today. Thank you for being so honest and so open to God's leading. We need to hang out soon!
ReplyDeleteI agree with Michelle--you have the sick and the poor all around you (we're all in that boat!), and how marvelously God has gifted you and Justin to offer His life. You guys are a picture of deep hope, love in abundance, and hearts fully alive. I love your desire to continue being just exactly who God made you to be--yourselves filled with the fullness of God.
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you're there Amy. I know that wherever you are, your presence will encourage people.
ReplyDeleteI do wish "there" was closer to "here" though. :)
This is powerful and beautiful and so full of Jesus, Amy. Hell is everywhere, but so is the gospel. I am so glad God has placed you in that little spot in that little house among those other houses and families.
ReplyDeleteYour family offers life and redemption and hope. You and Justin are amazing people. Watch out, darkness!