Our schools were on lockout for several hours
yesterday. I could hear the sirens at
the STEM school as I stood outside our elementary school and I just prayed and
prayed for all that was unfolding there. Parents had been told to stand away
from the building and to wait patiently until the all-clear was given. The waiting was difficult. We then had to form a line and walk to the
classrooms where we showed our ID’s, signed our names, and were then given our
children. The anxiety, fear, frustration
from pretty much everyone was evident.
This was the third lockout for our school in the past thirty days. Lily just kept asking me, “What’s
happened? What’s happening?” as we
hustled to the car through the pouring rain. I was asking the exact same thing:
What. Is. Happening.
I am deeply troubled by the amount of courage it took to
send my girls to school this morning. I
want to march, I want to protest, I want to scream. How is this the new normal? Today, I weep for what is and
for so much brokenness and loss.
These are the times I cling to Jesus with my whole heart
while, as a parent, I am scared out of my mind.
What once felt like an irrational fear feels like something else and it
is a strange and terrible reality that I am questioning my girls' safety at school. This
morning I could only offer them the truth.
The real Truth. I gently reminded
them that Jesus is with them. I simply
said in the most hopeful, non-dramatic tone I could muster, “Remember. No matter what, Jesus is right there with
you. He is with you all the time,
everywhere, in all things, in every moment. Okay?” Then I watched them walk out the door.
I pray for my daughter’s protection each day. A prayer, a plea when what I really, truly
want is a guarantee for their safety. I
want to know they will be safe and looked after. And I want to pray the prayer or make the
deal that will make it so. Right this
second my only comfort is that in the school drills, in the lockouts,
lockdowns, or worse, Jesus will be with my daughters. My most desperate hope is that they will
remember this, and not only remember, but feel his presence with them. That he will hold and comfort them when I
cannot be there. That he will bring them
peace and they will know Love when my words cannot reach them. I cling to the promise that nothing can
separate them from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor
demons, neither fears for today nor worries about tomorrow—not even the powers
of hell can separate them from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the
earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate my
girls from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.
I continue to tell myself this over and over again and ask
Jesus for it to be enough for my mother’s heart. I pray for all those affected by too many
school shootings and I try to stay busy.
I am trying to not count down the hours, minutes, seconds until my children are
home again and I feel as though they are safe from school.
No comments:
Post a Comment