holy s$@#...kindergarten

I have, as of today, survived three whole days of my oldest daughter in kindergarten. In the public school system. Three hours, five days a week. Away from me. I have written before about the "bittersweetness" of motherhood and I was so very aware of that last Thursday as we walked her to school and watched her go (yes, I cried the entire walk home). I could feel the heavy ache in my heart as I was more than aware that this was another of those "letting go" times of parenthood. A major one. That the ties that keep us bound so tightly together were again loosening and stretching. Stretching to make room for a teacher (Mrs. Pepper - great name, huh?), for friends, for a life away from home and away from me. I know how good it is, how healthy...but something deep in me just wants to protect her from everything and keep her all to myself and somehow magically stop her from growing up so damn fast. But I can't and I won't. Instead we will continue the walk to and from school, with her big 'ole backpack and her head held high. And I'll let her go a little bit at a time, keeping the secret that no matter how far she goes, I'll always carry a part of her with me.